Who is this Mikalee Byerman chick, anyhow?

I heart you. You want to know who I am? Aw shucks

Well, here’s the abridged version:

Crazy tall. A type-A grammar geek. The proud mother of two amazing souls who both can say the 50 states in alphabetical order in about 30 seconds flat (because I can, too). A woman with serious, deep-seated insecurities because I can’t roll my tongue like a taco.

But not in that order.

Oh, and you may also be wondering how to say my name. Quick hint: It sounds like Michelob — but with a long “e” sound at the end instead of the “ob.” Try it out loud. Go ahead, you can do it.

Awesome you rock!

Now, maybe you’re more interested in what I do professionally. And that’s easy to summarize in two words: I write. I write about being crazy tall, tongue insecurities and all manner of topics. I write funny, I write serious — doesn’t matter, as long as I’m writing.

So maybe I lied, because I just thought of four more words that describe me professionally: I rock at editing. Whether it’s proofreading for grammar/spelling, checking for AP Style or editing for content, I’m your girl.

Why do I write/edit, you may ask:

  1. Because I can (and don’t you dare be the first to tell me I can’t. That would suck.)
  2. Because I have a master’s degree in journalism, and this seems the thing to do.
  3. Because I’ve been described as a combination of Chelsea Handler (without the affinity for little people) and Erma Bombeck (without the being dead and all). So the only thing I can possibly imagine to do with that is write.
  4. Because my background as a managing editor for magazines has taught me that few people can communicate in writing effectively. I can. Therefore, I do.

What do I write, you may ask next (damn…you’re good at these questions!)…

  1. I am a published author with hundreds of clips and bylines. See a sampling of my articles here.
  2. I’m a blogger (but you already knew that, hence the clicking on my “About” page and all…)
  3. You can peruse my web site for other tidbits here, if you’re so inclined.
  4. Oh yeah, and I’m also writing a book…one silly little blog post at a time. So if you’re an agent, or simply play one on TV…nice to make your “virtual” acquaintance. Call me, k? K…

Thank you for reading. Now leave me a nice comment below — to let me know you stopped by. Otherwise, you just look like a stalker. 😉

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549 thoughts on “Who is this Mikalee Byerman chick, anyhow?

  1. istilljustdontgetit says:

    I have a Maltese. She’s 6 and bossy and mean; and retaliatory. She just pooped on my bed. Why? Because I put her sweater and harness and leash on to go for the first jog possible in weeks, and with every intention of just “dropping in” on Freshly Pressed to see what I’d read when we returned. I somehow stumbled upon your comment. For an hour and half now, the dog has been pissed and I’ve been laughing and crying with you. Thanks Mikalee… thanks a lot.

    Here’s the deal. I’m not married, have never been, but I very recently went through a final breakup of epic proportions that has absolutely drained me, and I’m coping… trying to at least (http://istilljustdontgetit.wordpress.com/2011/01/23/this-is-sad-and-boring-dont-read-it/). The insane shadyocity you describe in some of the ex’s hijinks are all too familiar, so I’m hooked.

    Keep it up woman, all the rest of us healing but still bitter people need you! Oh, and I’m a J-school girl too 🙂

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      OK, so I probably owe you a bedspread. Or at least a doggy treat for the retaliatory Maltese. Will you settle for a heartfelt apology?

      Can’t wait to pop over and see this sad-and-boring-not-to-be-read post. We all heal in different ways, but I’m so glad we’re EXPRESSING ourselves — however that might look.

      Welcome to the club, and congrats on moving up and moving on! And J-schoolers, rock, btw…

    • babs says:

      Interesting reading. I stopped in to check you out because I couldn’t believe that anyone would have 43 freelance writing deadlines due at the same time. And I still don’t know if you were joking…
      If you were telling the truth, give me some!
      Peace

      • Mikalee Byerman says:

        I was just responding to another commenter lamenting that at this point, I only WISH that I could subcontract. And nope, no joke: 43 stories. All due Monday…

        Thank you so much for stopping by!

        🙂

  2. elle says:

    At last! A blog by someone who actually knows how to write. I am shocked and delighted.

    Sorry about the mess you’re going through with your ex. I’m in the process of getting a divorce…but it’s not mine. I have power of attorney for my son, who is serving in Afghanistan and trying to get out from under The Shrew, to whom he’s been married for a whopping four months.

    My best to you.

  3. wordsweneversaid says:

    If I may be so bold?

    Your ex sounds like a total dink and I think he should just admit that he is one rather than trying to get you to stop blogging.

    If he wasn’t such a dink you would not have anything to say about it – yes?

    I love your blog and I think you are dealing with a bad situation with poise and good humor and I am subscribing – right now actually.

    I wish you all the best,
    M.L.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      M.L.: Please, absolutely feel free to be so bold!

      I love it. I’m assuming “dink” means what I think it means?

      Thank you for subscribing, and I look forward to many more dink-filled comments…

      😉

  4. nova veritas says:

    I must confess – I’m the Stalker! Did I just say that out loud? Okay… Relax, don’t panic! Cancel that 911 call. What I meant to say was I’m a blogger from a galaxy far, far away. I’m sorry about the Black Hole that sucked your world into a void; it’s a drag, but the universe occasionally does that sort of thing. I heard it’s all a part of some grand design, a test of ones mettle; you know “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” that sort of thing. I’ve got to be completely honest with you, I’m not divorced, but I have witnessed the havoc left in its wake. Does this give me the required insight or the right to offer counsel? Probably not! But, this is a great blog; open and honest and I’m a sucker for great writing. I love your humor and expressive style; I also admire your strength and courage. So don’t surrender to the Dark Side, use the ‘Force’ young Jedi, use the ‘Force’. I sense it is strong with you and with the help of the rebel allies the Death-star can be overcome.

    The Enlightened One.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Yes, oh Enlightened One: I will wield my powerful light saber of truth to defeat the darkness within my able opponents.

      As Yoda once said: “Crap. I’m tiny and green. But persist, I will.”

      I can relate. Well, sadly, not to being tiny and green…

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Great to meet you, and best of luck on your blog. Can’t wait to see what you’re writing about!

      It takes a while to find that footing — hell, I’m six months in and I’m not even there yet. But it’s an amazing vehicle, and I love the opportunities inherent to a “virtual” community. I hope you have as much fun with your blog as I’m having with mine!

  5. cclester says:

    my detective work is going well … from one post I’ve deduced Marilyn’s real name is Cassie …. am I on the right track???
    This is really rather fun … stalking the creepy stalker 🙂
    lots of blogosphere love
    Charly xxx

  6. cocoalikesthis says:

    Wowie, you are a wildly fascinating lady. I’ll definitely be back to catch up on all your goings on (I mean that in the least creepy/stalkerly way possible, mind you).

  7. madimoore says:

    You are the blogger I have been looking for! You are hilarious and I love your style of writing. You have your masters in journalism? How amazing! I’m going to college for media&commications and I hope to be a journalist of some sort. Nice to find somebody who shares that passion. And also, I am torn because I can’t roll my tongue either, and my whole family can. Are we long lost twins..? Hmm. Sorry about the ex.
    But if we didn’t have stupid people on this Earth, what would we talk about!!?

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      A few things:

      1. J-school “types” totally rock. Best of luck with your ambition — it’s a tough industry, but a GREAT one if you channel your passion into success!
      2. We should start a club. My whole family can roll their tongues as well. I feel like such a loner. 😦
      3. You’re ABSOLUTELY right about the stupid people. Long live the stupid people!
      4. Thanks so much for stopping by – hope to see you around these parts again!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      OOOOH. I can hardly wait to read about your situation! I do love to hear about long-lost twins, as there is much healing to be found in shared experience…

      Thanks so much for the subscription and comment!

  8. psilyjociebutintb says:

    Hey there! I found your blog a week or so ago and finally got to reading your about section. The fact that you are a writer is really inspiring to me, besides your dealing with everything you are going through, because I am an English major and it is one of my biggest passions in life.

    Anyways, I would like to thank you because you are the first check on my goal list of subscribing and commenting to 5 blogs this week and then commenting at least once a week thereafter on each. I think it’s important to comment and read blogs one subscribes to, otherwise what is the point?

    Anyways it is a pleasure to virtually meet you Mikalee! 🙂

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      The pleasure is all mine … thank you for stopping by, and I’m more than happy to help you fulfill your goal!

      Best of luck to you as you continue to pursue your passions. I can totally relate. Writing is one of the greatest joys in my life (apart from my children, of course); I don’t know where I’d be without the ability to communicate my thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. I hope the college experience is fulfilling for you — I loved it so much, I ended up teaching journalism and writing courses after I finished my master’s degree.

      Looking forward to seeing you around here again!

  9. Rocket says:

    Hey!

    I don’t know how I got here! I’m glad I did though because so far, I am entertained and sort of enlightened. I got to admit though, your “Otherwise, you’ll look like a stalker” phrase actually made me comment. I got to try that on someone. 😀

    Till next time!

    Rocket

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well then, welcome … and I’m glad the implied threat struck a chord. Feel free to borrow it, if you’d like.

      I’ll look forward to hearing from you again — if you dare! (Oooh. Did that one work?)

      😉

  10. acleansurface says:

    Hi Mikalee,

    I stop by occasionally. I do not comment because I am uncomfortable making any remarks about people that I don’t know. It all feels so negative… because it is negative. That isn’t your fault; it is what it is. I am in a different place than you are, psychologically, so I usually cannot think of anything to say.
    This time, I have something to say. =)
    I know another woman who has been going through a post-divorce backlash for about three years…I have been very surprised at the energy, time, and overall venom spent by her ex-husband in a long campaign apparently intended to destroy her in every way. I think he is waiting for her to stay down, but she just keeps getting back up. She has lost many battles, but she will win the war.
    I expect the same for you.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      I can’t tell you how much this comment meant to me — and how much I needed it the very day you sent it. I am constantly astounded at the intensity of this battle, especially three years down the road. I’ve said it before: I always thought the days post-divorce would be hardest. But these are harder!

      I feel for your friend and the backlash she is experiencing; it is hard to keep rising up in the face of adversity. But it’s SO important!

      I truly don’t want you thinking, however, that this all feels negative. In reality, I feel so much joy in many aspects of my life — it’s just that the dark stuff is a little overwhelming at times, but I try to put it all in perspective (sometimes tongue firmly in cheek) in an effort to work through it. That is what this blog represents to me — celebrating the small stuff, sharing the hard stuff and learning and growing through it all. I love my readers and their observations, and I’m grateful to count you among them.

      Thank you again!

  11. Writestuff says:

    Ok, you showed me yours (I’m divorced and “Trish” ((trash)) has the ex), so I’ll show you mine.

    I am six years on this side of the day he blew up our family, but, like 9/11, Osama finally did get his — ironically mine was contacted by the IRS on Friday — can you say “audit”? 😀

    Destiny — it’s a beautiful thing (tear).

    Come visit me. I keep it clean cuz his work friends are loyal readers and I hate courtrooms and legal fees, so I just let my personal defense team of “Karma, Zabitch and Howe” handle it for me. They seem to be doing a fine job.

    In your case too, seeing as Marilyn — well, you know.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Trish (trash!). That is a beautiful thing! 😉

      I wish you continued healing, but it sounds like it is all going the way it should. IRS…I love it!

      I can’t wait to stop by your site — and I may have to employ your personal defense team at some point in the future. Sounds affordable, too! 😉

  12. jollof says:

    I’ve learnt a new word, ‘bat-shit crazy’. You’re quirky to say the least and the Marylin overkill is hilarious. I enjoyed the few articles I read (and I’m extra careful about my punctuation lest I be scolded by an editor). By the way, I’m writing a book too. It’s an autobiography filled with weird/funny aspects of my life whilst growing up and halfway through the book I conclude with a compilation of my best/most read articles from my blog. I do hope you’ll consider editing that when the time comes (silence)

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Glad to teach you all things bat-shit crazy and Marilyn-esque…welcome to my world! 😉

      No worries about the punctuation. I do not judge — unless professionally contracted to do so. And let me know if you need an editor — readers get preference when I choose my freelance clients!

      Take care, and thank you so much for stopping by…

  13. Mike10613 says:

    No need to check my IP; I’m in England and no where near the server! I read a few of your blogs and I hope when your divorce is over and you have done your healing; you will write about something else. I’m sure you could choose from a lot of subjects and do a good job of it. Good luck reinventing yourself…

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Haha…no checking necessary, Mike! Thanks for the head’s up about your locale…

      I definitely plan to continue sharing insights about divorce, reinvention, penis tiaras and all things bat-shit crazy…I kinda feel like I’m the passenger here, just going where life takes me. So we’ll have to see what’s around the next curve. Once I’m there, that is…

      Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting!

  14. marshall ace says:

    Hello Mikalee – just wanted to say thank you for finding and liking my humble blog. You seem to be very popular and started a chain reaction that has put it on wordpress.com as freshly pressed! My mum is also glad to have found your blog – a good read 🙂

    Marshall Ace/The Tiny Sartorialist xo

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well, Marshall, please tell your mum that I’m glad she popped by … but that I certainly don’t take responsibility for your Freshly Pressed status. That’s all about you and those adorable cheeks — and fashions! 😉

  15. Eleonora Teragnoli says:

    Hi, Mikalee 🙂 My name’s Eleonora and I’ m an italian blogger! I work as magazine journalist in my country, so I’ve got your same passion for writing! In order to tell you something about me, I’m the really happy mother of a 2 mounths old female baby and I’m going to marry in June, so I’m a 24hours busy woman in a lot of things (in being a mother, above all :D)I don’t know how did I succed in reaching your blog, but it looks very funny! So….. I’m going to subscribe! 😉
    See you soon!
    El!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Eleonora, I’m so glad to have you here…welcome!

      It sounds like you are an INCREDIBLY busy woman — I’m imagining you only find time to read perhaps at 2 a.m., or during nap times?

      Regardless — can’t wait to learn more about you, and thank you for subscribing!

      🙂

  16. niasunset says:

    Nice to meet you Mikalee 🙂 I’m impressed about your introduction of yourself! Writing is great. I will be reading your articles, Thank you so much for your nice comment too,
    Greetings and Love, nia

  17. itprocmjgmail says:

    Just started my own WordPress blog and surfed into yours semi-randomly. Nice. Congratulations on being so literate, tall and attractive. I sincerely hope your life is improving every day in every way. Reinventing one’s self appears to be a very good idea indeed.

    Chuck

  18. rutheh says:

    Enjoyed reading About You page and though I have been divorced 20 years I like your perspective and how you have put the experience into words!

    I think I met you and subscribed by your going to my Keep or Pitch blog and I checked you out or maybe it was Freshly Pressed who knows at this point but I am here and reading and laughing and touched.

    Dream on!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well, in whatever capacity you came my way: I’m so glad you’re here! Always nice to know someone is reading and laughing…

      Can’t wait to check out your blog as well!

  19. J Maz says:

    You’ve got a great way of expressing yourself! and btw I wish I had 43 writing assignments due hahah!! I also freelance yet not at that level just yet. Have to find more clients!

    Anyway I subscribed and definitely interested in seeing into the future you!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Welcome to you … and thank you so much for the subscription!

      At this point, I’d give anything to subcontract the 43 stories. But alas, I must push through this weekend — and be ready to sleep next week!

      • J Maz says:

        I’ve got 3 to finish by Monday (only one page each) – probably finish by tonight. Yes sleep, with a slow lazy wake up the next morning!

        Well if you ever need assistance please reach out, I would love to help!

  20. kensdock says:

    Your picture grabbed me some place on wordpress and sent me here. I am impressed with your skills. Myself, I should not be allowed to self publish or edit, as there is allows a mistake. Nice sight!

  21. Nicole @ Of Cookies & Carrots says:

    I love love love your writing. 🙂 I’m no writer myself (well, I mean, I write papers for school and babble on that little blog of mine 🙂 ) so I love reading really witty, clever people such as yourself showing me up one blog post at a time 😉

    Though I’m also a pretty kickass copy editor. By which I mean I frequently pick up copies of my school newspaper (did this in high school, still do it in college) and pick out at least 5 errors per issue. I really wish they’d just run it by me first… Oh, there was also a time when I was working at Starbucks that I found typos in their official training documents. A then-17-year-old correcting the writing of a multi-million dollar company just didn’t seem right, but whatever. 😉


    n

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Thank you so much, Nicole … your comments and feedback are TOTALLY appreciated!

      I love that you were identifying errors in Starbucks materials — that’s the sign of a closet editor, my dear! I laughed at my own 10-year-old son last year when we were in Disneyland and he found a typo on the park map. The apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree there, I think…

      Keep writing, keep editing, and thank you again for the wonderfully supportive comments. 🙂

  22. ItsAMomThing says:

    Many times I’ve thought about blogging my experience or writing a book. Seriously. However, I’m sure I’d end up in court with my ex & his beloved trying to shut me up. The problem in our on-going battle – the beloved’s mom is a judge in our small, backwards town…I don’t need to tell you how my story would end. (It also makes for a great couple chapters in the book I’d like to write.) Anyway, I’m glad to see someone else doing just that with their experience and you’re doing a great job with it too! I love your sarcasm.

    Oh and if acleansurface (4-20-11) isn’t one of my friends, I need to connect with their friend. It sounds eerily too familiar; almost identical!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Oh…wow. You’re right — with mommy-dearest-in-law holding a gavel, I’m guessing justice won’t exactly be blind?

      Well since you can’t write about your reality, I might just have to interview you for my own book someday. Anonymously. Sounds like an amazing story…

      Thank you for stopping by!

  23. Giora says:

    Hi Mikalee. I read your post on Rachelle Gardner’s blog about you being hit by an ugly brick aka divorce. Hopefully, you can put it all behind you and best wishes in finding a nicer man. And good luck with your non fcition book.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Giora — nice to see you on my blog … thank you for stopping by! Yes, the divorce is definitely behind me, but I do feel there’s a need for a bigger (and REAL) conversation about divorce to take place in our society … which is why I continue to write about it.

      Thanks so much for the luck — I’m sure I’ll need it! Can’t wait to see what you’re writing about…

      Mikalee

  24. Jon says:

    Absolutely entertaining. I just don’t have the time to read it all! Reminds me of how I would write if I had writing skills. So if I don’t have time to read it all, how do you have time to write it all? Superwoman powers? Indeed-e-oh.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Hi, Jon — thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such a wonderful comment!

      I only wish I had Superwoman superpowers. Instead, I just don’t sleep…

      😉

      Please come back when you have the time — would love to see you around these parts again!

  25. Tamie says:

    Mikalee,

    Thanks for the giggles and the outloud belly laugh I just experienced from reading your thoughts. Love it! I’m pretty sure your words are more powerful than the pain your ex inflicted and it sounds like you are pretty well anchored with the love of your boys. Good for you!. I thank you again for your excellent writing….and for sharing your thoughts.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the reading, Tamie — outloud belly laughs are a good thing!

      I’ve told other readers this, and it’s absolutely true: I’m grateful for the path my life has taken. I’m not happy about the way it happened, but I’m choosing to make the most of it. My children are incredible and smart and feel loved, and we have the best family life I could ever imagine — even better now than it was with the Ex. Therefore, it was meant to be!

      Thank you so much for the great comment — I do hope you continue to follow my journey, and I look forward to hearing more about you as well…

  26. kap10bob says:

    i really can’t relate on woman talk…. but it did caught my attention… see i got to this point of leaving a comment? hehe 🙂
    i must admit that your blog is interesting so i’ve followed it…
    i wish you well and your family… less the hubby… hope you’ll get another chance at love in future…

    btw, i just started blogging, i’d really appreciate if you can drop by http://kap10bob.wordpress.com and let me know if i suck at this so i can quit right away hehe… cheers!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      I’m so glad you’re here — and thanks for the comment!

      I can’t wait to stop by your blog. But I can guarantee I won’t advise you to quit. We all have our unique voices, all worthy of sharing!

  27. Elise Hahn Photography says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog, Mikalee (as I’m writing this, I’m practicing my “Michelob” aloud ;).

    No visits to the French countryside planned in the near future? As you might suspect, I would highly recommend it!

    All the best,
    Elise

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      LOVED your post — and I only wish the French countryside were indeed in my future…

      But alas, I do have one trip planned: to Sacramento. To see Taylor Swift.

      I’d rather go abroad, but my 9-year-old daughter’s DREAM to see Taylor Swift takes precedence!

  28. Bhaven says:

    Love your style and sense of humor. Pretty inspiring. I am a travel photographer wanting to bundle up as a writer too.

    And I think I got the Michelob right, but what happened to german?:)

    Keep posting and we’ll keep reading.

    cheers, Bhaven

  29. anamcara3 says:

    Liked the posts I read. I was reading another blog and saw your comment andmade my way to yours. I am new to all this and started writing a blog to cope with the loss of my 3 year old daughter. All these losses have a connection, an associated anger, depression, bargaining, denial and I suppose someday acceptance. You work through these well in your writing, ita little too complicated for me at this time but I will stop by later when relief of some kind lays its head on my pillow. They say “its better to light a candle than to curse the darkness” but I say any port in a storm, until the tsunami passes and yours looks like it has, at least I hope so. love your writing, keep up the good work
    http://anamcara3.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/the-day-the-light-went-out/

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      I’m so glad you stopped by for a visit, anamcara3…welcome to my blog.

      I can’t even IMAGINE the pain you’ve experienced — my sincere condolences to you and your family. I do hope you’re finding some relief through the process of writing. For me, I didn’t start until almost three years later because it was all too raw and real and daily at the time of my divorce. So I am in awe of your courage and bravery.

      Please find strength in the encouraging words of others, and continue to take solace in the small joys that may creep into your life as relief comes your way. You deserve some peace; I truly hope you find it.

      Feel free to stop by here any time…you’re absolutely welcome!

  30. beckyspringer says:

    Oh Mikalee! I love this blog! I’ve seen you post on quite a few (okay, almost all) Freshly Pressed blogs I’ve read. You’re a fantastic writer so keep it up!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      You’re too kind…thank you!

      Yes, I’ll admit: I’m a total Freshly Pressed whore. In fact, there’s an upcoming post about that very topic (at some point); it’s a big part of my marketing strategy…not to mention I love seeing what the Freshly Pressed gods find worthy of “pressing.” I do love reading a wide cross-section of blogs, and this seems the best springboard for that type of exposure to different genres!

      Alas, though, my blog is rated “Mature” (to discourage youngins), so I will never be “Pressed” myself. But that doesn’t keep me from lurking…

      😉

      Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. I hope you make your way back here again!

  31. Sarah Een says:

    What can I say, old chum? I can’t say much but Bd Religion can, and here it goes, “Life is the crummiest book i”ve ever read, there isn’t a hook, just a lot of cheap shots. pictures to shock, and characters an actor could never dream of..sometimes truth is strange than fiction!”

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Such good lines — and so relevant!

      In the aftermath of my situation, there are two truths I share constantly: 1. You can’t make this shit up. 2. The truth is almost always stranger than fiction.

      🙂

  32. talesfromthemotherland says:

    Love your blog! Just saw one of your comments on a Freshly Pressed and clicked over… and here I’ve stayed. Having been FP’ed a few wks ago, I now take a little more time to check out who else is and who is reading them… how’s that for narcissistic motivation! We have a lot in common (not the least of which is sarcastic humor), aside from the marital status, and it was fun reading some of your posts and thoughts. BTW: where do you live? I have a novel that has finally come out of me (vs dying to!) and will be looking for a good editor soon. I have some great readers now, but will want someone new and objective. I’m on the west coast. Great job w/the blog!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well I’m absolutely honored — even if it was narcissistic motivation that lured you here! 😉

      Congrats on your Freshly Pressed-edness (yes, I just made that word up…): I’m so jealous! Sadly, I’m a bit too “adult/mature/obsenity filled” to be FPed, but I read others’ blogs with envy. I can’t wait to explore your blog more … I know this is hard to believe, but I’m a HUGE fan of sarcastic humor.

      And yes, I’m a west coaster. Actually, more specifically I’m in Reno, NV…which is only 4 hours from the coast. But if I can get there quickly, I think I still qualify!

      Please be in touch if you need an editor … I’d love to contribute to another writer’s success!

  33. Bama says:

    Since I’m not a stalker then I need to leave a comment here 🙂
    I myself like editing very much. I have been doing that since I was in high school. My friends always came to me and gave me their English homeworks and had them checked and proofread by me. Well, I never work as an editor though (and I’m not quite sure how good my editing skill is at the moment, I feel like a little bit rusty on that).
    Anyway, I really like the way you write (I might not agree on some of the contents though, but that’s why I love difference. It adds new perspectives to our minds). I like your straightforwardness and honesty the most. Keep writing!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Excellent…another non-stalker to add to the list! (Not that I’m creating a list to inspire my own stalking or anything…) 😉

      Thanks so much for the comment, Bama. Yes, editing is one of those skills that gets under your skin — I love it, and I love being “that girl” that all my friends turn to in order to proof everything from online dating profiles to law school applications. Seriously: I’ve done ’em all!

      Totally agreed about the importance of differing perspectives — it makes us all more interesting. Vanilla is boring. I’d rather have neopolitan any day of the week!

      Thank you so much for stopping by — I hope to see you around (not stalking, of course) again!

  34. chriswarne85 says:

    Great stuff. Stumbled upon by accident from way across the pond. The wordpress homepage recommended your blog… click… here I am. Usually if that happens, I don’t get so far as the ‘click’ bit. Sometimes I do, but the ‘here I am’ bit lasts as long as it takes to realise the site is BORING! Much like my site, probably – assuming as I do that most people see hopping around from football ground to football ground as BORING.

    But I decided to read this one – and so whilst the missus settles down in front of a show about killer whales, I am reading a blog about the delivery of a mini-fridge to a stranger who writes about things as trivial as the delivery of a mini-fridge. But I’m hooked, and I read to the end because I simply MUST find out if the Diet Coke mini-fridge designer was fired for some frankly preposterous designing of a mini-fridge.

    I chuckled though – which my girlfriend is yet to do whilst watching the killer whale show.

    So yeah… thanks for the chuckle 🙂

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Awesome…I’m stoked to be “funnier than killer whales.” In fact, that may end up making its way onto my “About” page, because I think it aptly describes me in a nutshell! 😉

      So I heard TODAY that Diet Coke is unveiling its new “look.” And guess what? It’s the same crazy blobby lopsided “look” sported on my fridge. That’s just WAY bizarre…

      Thanks so much for the comment! I do hope to see you around here again … perhaps as an alternative to watching that show on the Discovery Channel about the blobfish or the naked-mole rat, for example…

  35. Jennifer K. says:

    Managing editor of a magazine? Uhm hello! I was basically set on a career as a journalist since high school, but after eight years of reporting, editing, and copy editing through my high school paper and UCLA’s Daily Bruin – talk about burned out. There were moments when I dreamed in APStyle.

    I always thought I’d work on a magazine or some type of publishing job though. Who knew I’d go to law school, still seems weird when I think about it.

    Anyway, cheers on having the career I thought I always wanted!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Dreaming in AP Style? I can SO relate!

      And just think: Perhaps in your not-so-distant future, you will be an uber-educated, articulate, verbally gifted version of Star Jones. Or Marcia Clark. Or Clarence Darrow.

      With MAD writing skillz…

      😉

  36. dinkerson says:

    Ha ha! I felt like I knew you well after just first paragraph. If anyone ever tells you that you can’t write, then… well, that would just be friggin not cool. Not cool at all.

  37. superjack2468 says:

    Noticed your entry on a Brazil motorcycle trip blog and so clicked in. Envy your energy and accomplishments re writing but you must have been a tornado to live with. (Just look at that hanging preposition or whatever else is wrong with my comment – but it is a comment!) Jack.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Ha! I don’t judge others’ writing — only my own — so your hanging preposition is just fine by me…

      And I asked Boyfriend Brett. He says I’m definitely not a “tornado” in terms of devastation and destruction, but that I do have lots o’ energy. I guess that’s a good thing????

  38. alaisfairlight says:

    If you are wondering about the viability/effectiveness of this blog as a potential book I will say that it is effective in catching the interest of the reader (me!) with great imagery, subject matter that is relatable, and characters that I am now emotionally invested in. I want to know what happens! And I want to see the ex burn in the hell of raging gonorhea, but that is probably due to my own ex issues. I really like your blog though and can totally see it becoming a book and doing well. Thanks for spilling your guts on here.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Wow — I’m absolutely humbled by your feedback — thank you!

      And yeah, I think many of us want to watch our exes burn in a hell of raging gonorrhea — some more painfully than others…

      😉

      I hope to see you around here again — thank you for stopping by!

  39. Scott says:

    I’m leaving a comment but that doesn’t mean I ain’t a stalker. Is Type-A grammar geek gonna now tell me that ain’t ain’t a word? I dare ya.

    I don’t even remember how I stumbled over here.. But I likee.

    I’m in the middle of a divorce. So I know that caught my attention. Anyway, if you click on my link you will notice that the blog is bare. It’s my attorney’s fault.

    I shall continue to read thy silly little posts.

    Scott

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Hey Scott: “ain’t” ain’t a word!

      (You dared me, after all … and I’m not one to back down from a dare.)

      Thanks for stumbling over here, and I did check out your bare blog. Kinda made me sad. I do hope you’re able to write and express and work through it soon — it does help. I wish you tons of luck, as I know from experience that it’s a rough road…

      Welcome to my silly little blog!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Why thank you kindly! And I do love that “Matt Stone” finishes his comment with “You rock.” Parallelism much?

      Thanks for reading and commenting — hope to count you among my gabillionzillion followers (read: 11) one day!

  40. Mike10613 says:

    Hi,

    You have a very interesting blog. I don’t like the theme, but the content is good. I have to write but admit I struggled for something to write about today. I try to have a topic for each day of the week but haven’t got one for Monday yet!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Aw shucks — thank you!

      (And don’t think I don’t see the appropriateness of “The Alcoholic Brewmaster” leaving a comment on the blog of someone seemingly named after pedestrian beer…)

      😉

  41. worshipandswag says:

    1) You had me grinning from ear to ear like silly, lol!

    2) I’m ashamed for not updating my blog, blaming it on school and work. You obviously have your plate full and running over! How do you do it? I could use some pointers…hehe

    3) I pronounced your name…in my head! And it sounds better than it would have if it came from my throat!
    Nice meeting you… 🙂

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      1.) I’m SO glad — it’s nice to know someone out there enjoys my odd sense of humor…

      2.) Please DON’T look at me as some model in this regard — I mean, seriously, do you see my posting schedule? I’m lucky if I make a post-a-month, and I think it has been months since I’ve actually hit my goal of a post-per-two-weeks. Ugh. Sadly, life does just get in the way … so don’t feel bad. Just live your life and find interesting stuff to blog about — then stay up until 4 a.m. writing! That’s my recipe.

      3.) Awesome — congrats! And it’s so nice to meet you, too…

  42. S. Trevor Swenson says:

    “Bitter and Jaded” are virtues as far as I am concerned. I too, am a Diet Coke junkie ( when I run out I boil the cans to get the residue.) You’re cute as a bug, a great writer and the Great Spirit/Heavy G or whoever you pray to will bring the shit divorce to an eventual end. However, this will not be done until you are stronger, funnier and the legal team of “GimmeThat It’s Mine” has picked the bones clean.

    Hang in there and keep on keeping on.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Nice to meet a kindred spirit: I embrace being “bitter and jaded” — it’s part of what makes me, me!

      Thank you for seeing that — and appreciating that. That makes me appreciate you. A lot.

      Plus, you called me “cute as a bug.” I think that’s good. Right? RIGHT?

      😉

        • Mikalee Byerman says:

          Well, thank you, then! I am looking forward to checking out your blog. Bitter and jaded ramblings are ALWAYS a good thing!

          And yes, I worry about drinking too much Diet Coke. But that doesn’t seem to stop me! 😉

  43. Loud Mind says:

    So I keep seeing this lady who ALWAYS likes AND comments on Freshly Pressed posts, and I’m thinking, oh that’s absolutely so nice of her, and thought of checking her page out too, so BAM! I landed here ad don’t want to take off. 🙂

    I absolutely love your sense of humor!
    Looking forward to having good times on your blog 🙂

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well, I’m glad my daily dose of awesome blog perusing led you here…welcome!

      And you can peruse all you want … don’t take off until you’re ready, k?

      I’m so glad you’re here and enjoying, Loud Mind!

  44. Candace says:

    I just read through several of your posts. You’re a very talented writer (I know, you know that). You commented on my FP post a couple months back and I’m just now getting around to looking at the blogs of all my nice commenters. So, thank you very much. And I hope you get your book deal soon. I’ll check back often…

  45. lifeloveandbaby says:

    I have never read through more replies on a post much less on an “about” page – you are such a joy to read so I just couldn’t stop. It’s my fantasy to write a book one day and I started blogging just to get back into writing. I have been loving it. It’s always inspiring to come across a great writer and you certainly are one. I found you through Miss Demure Restraint (another of my favorites) and a bunch of other posts (you get around!). The fact that you are an editor makes me nervous as all get out since I’m terrible with grammar and punctuation. I like to make up words and take creative license with my punctuation whenever possible. Must be difficult for an editor to ignore…

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well, I’m so glad you’re here and enjoying the read — thank you for the awesome comment!

      Never, ever worry about my editing past … I only get annoyed with people and their writing if they’re my students in a writing class and they’re ignoring my wise words! Plus, I take a ton of creative license with words and punctuation — so I’d be a total hypocrite if I balked when others do the same thing.

      Thank you again for stopping by — I look forward to seeing you around these pages again! And congrats on your decision to blog; I hope it leads to a book for you one day as well.

  46. Androgoth says:

    Have a most excellent rest of evening my friend
    and as the New Year beckons… I wish you a fine
    2012 filled with everything that you wish for 🙂

    Androgoth

  47. meladjusted says:

    Without having to go through the necessity of divorce, you have the blog that I aspire to have one day.

    You are so lucky to have a ‘Martha’ in your life – I hope she stays on your side when Skynet gets activated.

    My cheeks hurt from reading your blog – thanks for the laffs.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      What a beautiful compliment — thank you so much!

      Martha kinda rocks … though she does get a bit snippy at times, too. Definitely trying to stay on her good side…

      Thank you for reading and commenting!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well best of luck to you! My choice was simply based on my passion: I’ve always loved writing, and I figured a specialized degree reflecting my strengths in writing would serve me well. So far, so good.

      Thank you for visiting!

  48. rmv says:

    nice to know that there are some who still care about grammar, style, and having a “voice.” i’m one of those people who sends out the boring e-mails to everyone at work but finds a way to spice them up enough so that now they actually look forward to the next annoying announcement. then comes the best part, when the replies say something like, “you should have been a writer – or a game show host.”

    i’ve been teaching language arts/writing for about 25 years, and in about a month i’ll be finished. i have four novels that i haven’t yet tried to sell – and it’s time to do something about that. i’ll also try to find a copywriting/editing/proofreading job to keep the mind fresh.

    i used to simply write my own blog and then … whatever. but i recently learned how valuable it is to read other blogs, just browse, click, read, pass go, collect $200. there are a lot of good things out there. here too.

    have fun.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Personally, I’m just glad there are some out there who still appreciate the value of grammar, style and voice! I, too, taught writing for years, and the amount of ambivalence I encountered from students in WRITING classes shocked and saddened me. Then sent me into early retirement…

      I love that you’re told to either be a writer or a game show host. I guess that gives me ideas on what I should include in my writing: Whammies, fire-breathing dragons, big big BIG cash prizes and hot models. Sounds about right!

      I’m so glad you stopped by … look forward to seeing you around the blog, rmv!

  49. T Denise Clary says:

    Great blog! Love your recent post about Jesus being the trash collector.

    We share a similar story. I too have 2 kids and my first husband left me back in 2004. Luckily God had a plan and I am now remarried to a wonderful man who, not only is my soul mate, but truly a gift from God!

    Wishing you all the best and success!

    T Denise Clary 🙂

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      I am so envious of you — to be able to go through a divorce with kids, and then to have the ability to remarry again. You’re so brave! I’m not brave yet … I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years, he is incredible, I love him with all my heart, yet I’m TERRIFIED he’ll pull the same move my ex did. Ugh…

      Congrats on your successes. I’m hoping I’ll see you around the blog again!

  50. Adrian Pantonial says:

    I visited your blog because I got curious since I see your profile pic avatar on almost every Freshly Pressed blog. 😉

    Just read a few pieces here and I must say you have a very interesting story and well-written too.

    Here’s to wishing you the best in 2012!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Yeah, I tend to make my rounds on the FP roster — I love getting ideas for new blogs and meeting new bloggers there!

      I’m glad you stopped by … hope to see you around here again. Happy 2012 to you as well!

  51. amberlola says:

    Hey
    Most of the blogs i read just want to make me go to sleep but i have to say I really like what you wrote also if you want you could check out my blogs and tell me what you think because i really liked yours!Any way i really liked it so keep writing
    P.S i am a writter to (in my spare time!) ok byex

  52. commonsense1934 says:

    I started following your blog by chance, while I was looking at some beautiful flowers on some other blog. There you were talking about your divorce. Sorry to know that. It is a heart breaking event for any one. Now, today I started looking thru your blog and was surprised to see the range of thoughts that you have expressed. I plan to follow your blog and be one of your thousands of followers from now on.

  53. ~ Sil in Corea says:

    Happy year of the Black Dragon, as the Koreans call it!

    I’ve read your About before, but didn’t wade through the comments to leave one (naughty stalker that I am). I love your writing and subscribed a while ago. My blog is dormant now,- l just haven’t made time to write. I have no excuse. 😦

  54. Jillian Cobb Photography says:

    Oh my goodness! I am so glad I came across your blog somehow! …I’m not even sure what led to what, but, man, glad I’m here & I am definitely a new fan!

  55. universobeisbol says:

    Hello!
    I stumbled accross your blog by pure chance (and I mean CHANCE). I was reading a WordPress post and accidentally (I have short bandwidth) clicked on your gravatar, which led me to a profile, I had changed tabs, to continue copying baseball stats, and when I was going to keep on reading the wordpress post I noticed that I had messed up. I was going to click on the “previous” arrow at the top of my browser, but then said “WTF, let me have a look at that blog anyway, looks promising!”
    It definitely did, have just read a couple of posts and your “ABOUT” page, and have already gained two things: a good laugh, and admiration for your work. You use a type of language that makes anyone surfing the web stop and read, and then one can’t stop reading until it’s over.
    Your words are full of wisdom and are also fun to read, and I admire that in anyone who has a blog (I am a blog fan).
    All that said, I am glad I “screwed up” while clicking, and you must know that I will continue reading whatever it is you publish.
    Congratulations
    greetings
    R

  56. paywindow7 says:

    As stated by the other commenters (is that a word) above, I also really feel your writing. The ideas, the rhythm, pacing, humor and soul stay with me after I walk away to commit…life. I enjoy writing also but I’m only a documentarian compared to you, I hope you continue to write and I hope your life gets better with time and brings you personal joy and healing. Look to your kids for a lot of that.
    I have a site, that I guess could be loosely called a blog, where I’ve parked some personal vignettes so if your ever in the neighbor hood please drop in.

  57. John says:

    Wow, good writing indeed! And I am surely among those whom can’t write well. The differences are obvious between amateurs such as myself and looking through professional publications. The rest of us ‘get by’ I guess. Have a great day!

  58. Minoring In Baseball says:

    Hi, Mikalee. I can totally relate to the divorce, thing, as I’m going through one right now, and trying to keep my three kids as stress free as possible. Not an easy task, as you know, when one gives a shit and the other doesn’t, who does all the work? I’m with you on your feelings toward Valentine’s Day, too, as it’s not just the ‘lovee’ holiday, but also the anniversary of my ex and I hooking up, so it double sucks for me.
    Seriously, though, I’m glad I have my kids most of the time, because if it wasn’t for them, I’d probably be living in some padded cell being spoon fed pudding three times a day….We keep ourselves busy with sports, rock concerts, and general fun stuff.
    Take care,
    -Mike

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Hey Mike…so good to hear from someone who can relate! It sounds like you’re not only surviving, but thriving–congrats on that. Since I do NOT have my kids most of the time, I may or may not frequently live in that padded cell with the pudding you described above…it’s an odd existence. We have 50/50 joint physical custody, 2 weeks on/off. So for 2 weeks I’m AMAZING! Then for 2 weeks I’m depressed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Ugh.

      Thanks for reading and commenting … I definitely hope to see you around the comment section again!

      • Minoring In Baseball says:

        Wow, I’m so sorry you have to go two weeks without your kids. Do you live close, so you can still see them and attend their activities and stuff (baseball, softball, etc.)? We also have joint physical, but I do have them most of the time, as she’s always dropping them off early or picking them up late. I work midnights, so basically they just sleep at her place, but I have them from about noon to 8-9 pm (my 4-yr old, the older two I pick up at 3 from school). I also have them full time on my days off. It’s hard, and I have almost no free time for myself, but it’s worth it. They’d rather stay with me, so it’s still hard dropping them off, or having them picked up. My kids are active, too, and I get NO help running them around. I’m the only one who’ll take them to their sports practices and school activities. My ex would go two or three summers without making the time to catch one baseball or softball game. Feel free to e-mail if you need to chat, or anything. I know these situations suck. fouramigospots@yahoo.com
        -Mike

        • Mikalee Byerman says:

          I do live close by, so I do attend practically each and every performance/game/practice. But it’s always difficult, as my ex and his wife are constantly whisking my kids away — oftentimes without even allowing them to spend any time with me. Must be hard to be that insecure.

          It sounds like you’re going through it, too! Best of luck in your situation as well, and I’m grateful to have you here. It’s wonderful to know that others can relate — even if we’re all being put through the wringer, at least we’re in that wringer together!

If you do not leave a comment, you will further shatter my already broken spirit. If you can live with that guilt, so be it... ;)

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