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You know you want it.

And I promise, I’ll make it real good.

Blog posts, people — get your sick minds out of the gutter…

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Can’t wait to visit your inbox. Bye now!

129 thoughts on “Subscribe, Silly!

  1. Isabel says:

    Hi Mikalee,

    Great writing and witty posts! Wondered how your children feel about the blog and the kind of attention it’s getting. I’ve had a somewhat similar situation to yours – you know where the husband leaves the wife for some uglier girl from the past – it leaves you scratching your head for at “least” a year. But I noticed that my personal torture became my children’s torture….and I had to make a decision to not air my pain out for them to witness. It may sound dishonest but it’s not. I just wanted to spare my kids the added agonies of a shameful and confusing divorce. Kids have an innate need to love both parents, no matter the circumstances…and if I teach them that it’s okay for me to hate the other parent, they will inevitably learn to hate me too.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Isabel, thanks for stopping by … and for the comment!

      While it sucks to have gone through this situation that it sounds like we’ve both experienced, it remains our reality to embrace. So in answer to your question: My children wouldn’t even know about my blog if their dad and step-mom didn’t make them aware of it. And as it stands in my home (and at their school…I’ve checked), they can’t access it — I put a “mature content” rating on my blog when I registered so that parental filters would catch it.

      But yes, since the other family has sensitized them to the blog’s existence, I’ve had the conversation with them, simply telling them it’s about me, that I’ve written nothing but the truth in my posts, but that it’s too mature for them to read (I tell them I swear a lot). But when they’re old enough, they can read what I write.

      I can understand where you’re coming from in terms of letting go of the anger for the children…but in my situation, there is an active and omnipresent campaign against me in the other home. They tell my kids things that are untruthful about me, hurtful and simply wrong. So while I’m not retaliating with this blog, I’m also not shying away from embracing it now with the kids…because they need to know that I have a voice, and that I can and will use it. I look at it as a way of showing my strength, not my hatred.

      And when the kids are old enough, I’m sure they will read what I’ve written and understand where I’m coming from — especially given their memories of what was said and done in their other home.

      Again, thank you for stopping by, and I wish you continued healing! πŸ™‚

      • perilsofdivorcedpauline says:

        You HAVE to have a voice. You are entitled to present your side of the story. This can and should be done respectfully, but to stand by beatifically when you’re being slandered by the parent, and not speak up, is crazy-making for the kids. They’re being raised in a cult, it sounds like, and they need some perspective.

      • Dana says:

        Hi Mikalee,
        I randomly thought of your blog today and was wondering if you would update us on what has been happening. I’m guessing your kids are older teenagers by now…I’m curious how they have navigated the situation through the years. I personally couldn’t have a relationship with anyone who treated my mom the way your ex and his new wife treated you,so I’m curious how things have played out. I hope you are doing well and would love an update. Much love!

  2. geeklifecrisis says:

    Love the site Mikalee!!! Take me under your wing lol I have questions that need answering…about the blog of course. Oh, maybe other things in life, but for now the blog.

  3. Andy Lee says:

    No need to wast a perfectly good blank space whilst subscribing…let’s fill it with good feelings!
    Miss Mikalee: you are vurrry funny. Thanks so much for doing this blog, it obviously took a lot of time…and thought.
    I hereby nominate you as my February 2011 Blog Suggestion: should I be approached in February 2011 by friends looking for a good read I will be sending them your way. Previous winners include: Things my Girlfriend and I Argue About, The Namby Pamby, and A Softer World…which is more a comic but they use funny words and I like them. Also they’re from Canadia and those people are just the bees knees.

  4. ivyconservative says:

    Just starting to seriously explore the blogging world and came across you! Not a stalker!!!! Like your humor. Impressed with your background. The way I got started on this blogging experiment is my desire to write a book too! Certainly not as well versed in writing, publishing, etc. as you but no dummie either. Good education and some interesting life experience. Sort of retired and looking to do something really meaningful. Raised three kids, much of the work on my own. Former business executive and football coach. Looking forward to seeing what else you write! Thanks!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well best of luck to you on the book — it absolutely sounds like you’ve lived an incredibly diverse life, between work and school and kids and football. If you don’t mind my asking, what will the book topic be? Of course, I’ll pop over to your site to see if you expand on it there.

      Hope to see you around here again — thanks for the visit! πŸ™‚

      • ivyconservative says:

        Actually I’m working on two books. One will be a motivational/how to achieve success oriented book for teenagers. The other will be about the life of a coach who started out as an abused kid and overcame it to be a role model and coach for HS kids.

        • Mikalee Byerman says:

          Hey Luis – Given that I receive a HUGE number of comments that Askimet marks as spam, there’s a good possibility yours ended up there…and then I purged messages. Sorry about that! 😦

  5. elysianhunter says:

    I feel for you! Even though the situation with my ex was different I know how hard it is when people try to use one’s kids to manipulate and hurt the other. Seeing the humor in tragedy is part of the healing process. I wish you courage, fortitude, and a judge who isn’t a horse’s ass!

  6. ivyconservative says:

    By the way, I went through a difficult divorce quite awhile ago when my kids were 8, 13 and 17. My ex didn’t do the outlandish kinds of things that exes sometimes do but she she did from time to time manipulate the truth with the kids to get her way on some things.

    My advice is to stick to doing what is right and always, always put the best interests of the kids first. Don’t lower yourself to the level of someone who is a manipulator. In the end, when the kids look back they will know who was right and who put their interests first. Kids almost always eventually see the truth for what it is. You might lose some small battles along the way but in the end, if you stay above the fray, you’ll come out a winner!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      If you find Marilyn’s blog, it’s right there for the whole world (read: 3 visitors to-date) to see! πŸ˜‰

      Hint: Campbell’s French Onion soup. Makes all the difference in the world…

      • Dana says:

        Is she also a fan of mexican food? I think I found the blog, if it is in fact Marilyn’s-WOW is it lame. And the resemblance-uncanny!

          • Mikalee Byerman says:

            …tell that to the Ex. According to him, I’ve done everything possible to lay the most obvious breadcrumb trail EVER!

            But the reality is this: She started her own blog in response to my blog. Mocking my blog! Then she took that one down and started another. Then another. All the while, she’s making herself a public figure…(and posting my dead grandmother’s secret meatball recipe. I mean, come on…)

  7. Sue says:

    A good friend sent me your link. I too have been wronged!! My ex had an affair with a co-worker (we all worked together…awkward much?) who also happened to be my next door neighbor! I know. How cliche can he get?
    The plus side? We have no children together. HUGE PLUS. But we blended our families so my two and his one were affected.
    So, every weekend I get to see his mid-life crisis sports car NEXT DOOR.
    You have a very clever blog….all of us who have gone through the betrayal you described so well, should be so lucky to be able to express it in the way you do.

  8. Rachel says:

    I have a very similar situation with my ex and his “new one”. It has been years of this sort of passive aggresive bullshit.
    I appreciate your take on everything! And hey! We are neighbors in the world! I am just up in South Lake Tahoe!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      A blogging friend who’s a stone’s throw away?!?! How cool!

      I will ignore the crazy symmetry that I was married to this man in South Lake Tahoe. You just can’t make this shit up, right?

      I may be in touch to see how you’ve gotten beyond the passive aggressive bullshit. Congrats to you — here’s hoping it didn’t turn you into a crazy cat lady, which I may be in danger of becoming if it weren’t for my allergies! πŸ˜‰

  9. Kelly says:

    Great blog! I just started blogging and really like yours. Just wanted to say I like your blog, and feel for you with all your divorce stuff. I love that you can give us all a laugh, even though you have crap going on! Keep up the great writing!

      • Kelly says:

        ! I can always use mentoring. It has been somewhat of an outlet. I don’t get to vent as much as you do! I just need to monetarize it some. Good to hear from you!

  10. rutheh says:

    Hi Mikalee,

    Thanks for liking my blog. Would you like the ceramic
    squirrels to come and live with you?

    It is fun to meet interesting bloggers and read their blogs. I am subscribing! Hope you will check out my photo blog when you get time.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Hi, Ruth – Please don’t send the creepy squirrels! Please don’t send the creepy squirrels! πŸ˜‰

      Seriously. Those things are freaky

      Haha…thanks for the comment, and I look forward to digging deeper into your blog — as long as there are no more creepy squirrels…


  11. pete259867 says:

    Hey Mikalee,

    Read some of ur posts today, you seem to be an avid writer and so full of stuff to vent it out. Our situations dont match however I do think a part of that feeling has been thoroughly felt by almost each one of us in our lives. Nice to feel the exuberence of those words and the way all the posts seem to be coming directly from ur heart.

    I do feel the pain you are going through and hopefully things will get better as they always do for people who work for the good and love the almighty.


  12. IngriddAddison says:

    Just found your site today and as your other followers can really relate to you. Love your sense of humor too!! 4 years, almost 5, post-divorce with very similar undertones, I have finally decided to just let it go…………….it wasn’t doing me any good whatsoever to hold on. Freeing myself of the resentments was more than words can describe! I lost 240lbs when we divorced, another 40 for myself, but when I let the resentments go, I felt weightless!! Amazing feeling of freedom and serenity. He can still get on my nerves but the way I see it, my daughter will get the best and the worst of the both of us, I would rather be the best me I can be in spite of it all! I do have an older child from a previous relationship that ended much in the same manner (funny how that happens) and he kept her from me from the age of 11, now she is 23 and she calls me, tells me she loves me, and comes to see me, not him! I need not have sought vengence, karma is a beautiful thing!! Love you! Keep writing!!

  13. talesfromthemotherland says:

    I am still new to blogging but doing pretty well so far, and love doing it. I have 2 college age kids and 1 in hs… and they do not want their images in my blog and they often (or my daughter does) demand that I not include something. My response: darlin’, don’t give me material! THIS is for me, not for them. I understand that some, ok much, of what I write could embarrass or insult, upset, etc them, but it’s mine. I’ve done lots for them, but writing and the blog in particular is where I can say it my way and not worry about my family agreeing, correcting, nuancing, etc. So good for you! It sucks that your kids get pummeled by passive aggressive ex behavior, but continue to rise above that at home and have your say here… you’re among friends. : ) Love your writing. (I THINK you checked out my The Grass is Always Greener…) a few weeks ago, but it took me a while to get back to checking out all those… glad I found this.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Your story about your kids made me laugh … because even though my kids have never read my blog, they desperately WANT me to write about them! They’re always asking, “Will you write about this on your blog? Will you post this on Facebook?” etc. Just shows the difference in perception between elementary/middle schoolers (mine) and hs/college students (yours). πŸ˜‰

      I’m so glad you’re exploring your commenters and stumbled upon mine … and congrats again on being Freshly Pressed. Much success to you in your writing future!

  14. Stephen "Yolly" Yolland says:

    I haven’t had a chance to read all the blog, but what I have read was both hilariously funny, carefully considered, and heartfelt. I trust the process continues to be usefully cathartic for you, I also wish you luck in resolving all the marital chaos as peacefully as possible, and making the 2.0 project a triumphant success.

    You are a talented writer – well, you know that – and it’s time the widest possible audience got to enjoy your wit. Keep going!


    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Hey, Yolly — what an awesome comment. Thank you from the bottom of my blogging heart!

      Seriously, I appreciate the feedback — and the support. I’m having fun in the process, though it is much like therapy — without the $150/hour fee!

      I’m glad you stopped by … hope to see you again. πŸ™‚

  15. bunsonmarsjournal says:

    Hi Mikalee
    I am really impressed by the scope and energy of your writing. I am inviting you to read my blog – buns on mars journal and my web site – buns on mars. I would be pleased to have you in my audience.
    Steve Brooks

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      So can I admit to something that’s going to make me totally uncool, but also made me laugh hysterically?

      I had no idea what “needs more cowbell” meant. I have heard it before, and often wondered…and now in my self-employed state, found the time.

      So I looked it up on Urban Dictionary (the source of all awesome definitions). And the first entry that caught my attention:

      “When a man takes his scrotum and swings it between a woman’s breasts.”

      Really? My blog needs more cowbell? πŸ˜‰

      But then I saw the real definition, referring in parody to Blue Oyster Cult and that anything that “needs more cowbell” is just a funny way to make an assessment. That makes more sense. Much more…

      So thank you for enlightening me today — in more ways than one! Wow, did I learn something (or some things) today…

  16. Carl says:

    Hi Mikalee…
    Love the blog. Very entertaining.. you make me laugh. You see the good and the bad.. and life as we know it! Anyway… keep it up.. you are a fantastic writer.


  17. Heather Swanson says:

    Life as I know it’s Miss Molly mentioned you, so had to check you out… OMFG – you are awesome!! I love the quirky humor! Thanks for the laughs!

  18. tfolds says:

    I didn’t have time to really “dig in” but I like what I see so far. I am going to post here often just for the grammar corrections… πŸ˜‰

    Keep going…

  19. The Smirking Cat says:

    I have had the question posed to me often: what will the kids think if they read your blog? Like you, I don’t allow the kids to read my blog, and the only reason they know about it is because their mother and her parents (with whom she resides at the ripe age of 41) show it to the kids in their campaign to promote themselves as perpetual victims and me as the trouble-maker. I have also talked with the kids about how they cannot read my blog until they are older, and that nothing I say on my blog is not completely true.

    The concept that if we simply ignore or don’t talk about what a selfish, abusive parent is doing is somehow better for the kids is exceptionally misguided.

  20. Carol says:

    Hello! Let me say, your blog seems delightful! I hope I’ ll be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts with you! It also pleases me to find out how similar female minds work, anywhere. Cheers from Brazil,
    your brand new fan,
    PS I also hate F*#&ng ValentineΒ΄s Day too!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Welcome, Carol — so glad to have you here. I’ve seen that I have readers in Brazil (now that WordPress is letting us in on geographic origins), so it’s nice to put a face/name with a dot on the map!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Aw Tiff, thank you — much appreciated.

      I’ll send you a message through Facebook to talk you through the subscription process. I can’t sign you up — apparently WordPress doesn’t “trust me” not to sign up “random people” to become new loyal “blog subscribers.”

      Air quotes intended, of course…


  21. avondude says:

    Interesting read. I’ve never read a Blog before (heard about them, but never had the time nor interest to “look”them up.) Thanks for sharing. If I did it right, I think I’ve “book-marked” you so I can come back here. Thanks again.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Well, I’m honored to be your first — though undoubtedly not your best. And it looks like you did it JUST right, as I now see you on my subscriber list. Thank you for doing me the honor…


  22. payntedlady says:

    Hi Mikalee, just joined the blogging world and yours was the first I clicked on to read through, great Me 2.0 presentation. Look forward to reading more on your blog.

    It’s amazing how many women (and men to be fair) have been screwed over by an ex, and it sickens me when children are involved and used in any form of revenge.. Your ex and his ‘wife’ sound ‘unimpressive’ to say the least.. I say that with personal leverage, I’ve been through a horrible experience that involved children – sometime I’ll explain that, but they being the innocent victims in any splitup – you’d think that adults would be adults.. Shame on those who don’t consider the children and how they are impacted when one parent or the other speaks ill of the other.

    Keep up the great work, and stand tall.. All that goes around – comes around…

  23. payntedlady says:

    Hi Mikalee, I’m new to the blogging world and came across your blog when looking at the homepage. I love your wit and sense of humour, not to mention your directness when it comes to speaking your mind. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    I think you’ve inspired me to continue with this blogging, i think it can be quite therapeutic to say the least, lol…

    Cheers and have a great weekend…

  24. digthroughlife says:

    I really enjoy your work. I hope you will follow my poetry blog. You are very funny. For the record, that ex of your’s is fucked up. You have an intelligent mind and a heart full of passion. Have a great day ! πŸ™‚ Jeff Littrell

  25. jflord says:

    a simple question: for what reason would the comment i left yesterday have disappeared into cyber air? neither lewd nor crude, straight from the heart. i was looking forward to your response, assuming you decided it was worth your time. i’m new here. i think i’m missing something. any input appreciated. best, jjj

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Hello there, jflord –

      This is the first and only comment I’ve received from you. Apparently, WordPress ate your other comment?!?!

      My apologies. However, this one came through, so I’m hoping if you simply try again … you’ll have success.

      I’ll be looking forward to it!


  26. johnfoylord says:


    thanks for the reply. my earlier comment has an odd note stuck on it that said it was being `moderated’. what is this, a talk show? in all seriousness, though, as an old hand at this, have you any idea what stigma is attached –within the context of this site — to a `moderated’ comment?

    let’s not waste too much time. i think we have a lot to catch up on.
    SO, when i see you’ve seen this note, i’ll know the ghost in the machine is sated, and i’ll start again..

    as bogart said to (was it?) claude rains in the final scene of casablanca, `i think this is the beginning..’



    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      You’re IN!!!

      I do moderate comments, only because I’ve gotten some — shall we say — odd requests for personal info, reflections on my obviously exceedingly supply legs and feet (???) as well as comments from the new wife of my ex posing as many different people. So yes, I retain the right to approve or reject a comment.

      Plus it helps to feed my god(dess) complex. (Haha…)

      So please, bring it on: I look forward to our future interactions!

  27. johnfoylord says:

    supply legs? i guess supple. that’s how rumours get started. do i win a prize? my earlier unrec’d comment i think i actually have in word, so i’m going to see if i can find it,if for no better reason than to prove i’m not a complete iijit (that’s irish for idiot) when it comes to humming machines. more anon.


  28. johnfoylord says:

    `awaiting moderation’ —my comment is. who are the moderation squad, and how do you suppose they’re picked? mod squad–if you’re reading this in your moderate capacity, feel free to weigh in on this seemingly –benefit of the doubt, there– absurdity.

  29. johnfoylord says:

    i promise i’m not going to get hung up on this procedural issue. if i weren’t trying to start a blog even as i begin, hopefully, a friendship with you, i wouldn;t waste a second of your time on it. i think the best way to proceed is for me to blog elsewhere than wordpress do i can concentrate on the substance and ignore the procedure. any suggestions for other, iijit-proof sites?

    enough of that. your writing is heart-breakingly honest- you have no idea how much credit that gets you in my book. and you are also, in a word, lovely.

  30. tammyehoney says:

    If some one had told me ten years ago that I would be remarried…I would have totally laughed in their face. I was happily single after a really bad divorce and had rebuilt myself after years of recovery and raising two daughters alone. They had gone to college, married, had children that I had helped raise. A group of mutual friends would not stop nagging me to meet someone they knew…
    We have been married will be three years in Sept. and I said no three times…

  31. Scott Lovett says:

    Hi Mikalee!
    I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear that I found your blog by following interesting links while reading about the life and works of the recently departed Nora Ephron. It seems you were both cut from the same bolt of cloth: extremely smart women who know how to share their experiences and thoughts with grace, honesty and humor. A wonderful combination!
    I look forward to a long and rewarding blogoship!
    Peace and Love,

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Wow, Scott — I couldn’t be more humbled or honored. Nora Ephron was such an inspiration to so many … myself included. The world lost an incredible writer, thinker and humor-er the day she passed away.

      (And yes, I realize it should be “humorist,” but I dig symmetrical writing. So there.) πŸ˜‰

      Thank you for stopping by, and I do hope to see you around here again!

  32. Donna says:

    Thank you for writing. I am loving your style and stories. It helps me feel less alone in this crazy D world.
    FYI – Emily Reese got me hooked πŸ™‚

  33. Thewatcher says:

    I found your ex husband and his new wife very easily on the Internet. I read everything she has written just to see if there is another side. There is no other side. This woman sounds about 13. Her writing skills are eight grade level at best. She went all over the Internet writing blogs and articles trying to justify her despicable behavior. She has taken your children as her own. That is such a no no that if the situation was reversed and you had done this to her children she would have been screaming bloody murder. I am confused as to why a woman on her second marriage and the mother of two children would dress as a virgin for her wedding. Remarkably silly. By the way, when did your ex husband’s head become square? Interesting. I think this is a very angry woman. She was obviously much more invested in her high school romance than he was. He broke up with her, courted you, married you, and fathered two children. If he is now happy then she needs to leave you alone, shut up about your children, and just get on with things. I noticed her immaturity when she tries to say, use this in a singsong voice, NA NA NA NA I have the high school hunk and you don’t. In one article she made sure everyone knows how many countries she has visited. It reminds me of those sickening Christmas letters people send out telling how wonderful their lives are. I think you came out the winner. The pictures of your new husband and your precious baby tell it all. Continued good luck with your blog, it is hilarious.
    BTW, nobody of my acquaintance has ever gone back to a high school sweetheart. There was a reason for the breakup in the first place.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Whoever you are: I think I love you. Seriously.

      Thank you for this wonderful comment — and for taking the time to investigate before passing judgment. I absolutely respect that, and I know that in most cases, there are two sides.

      But yeah, this blog is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but.

      Once again: Many, many thanks! πŸ™‚

  34. Let go says:

    Hope your surgery was successful and you have mended.
    I did want to mention that two married, cheating adults who declare their love for each other on a brick defy credulity. A brick! Sheesh! Did I say 13? Let’s slide back to 12.

  35. Nicole Beaulieu says:

    Love love love your words. Hysterical stuff. And for the record, I’m on my way to crazy cat lady, too. Thank God for my children or I may have lost the last marble I have by now. No, seriously. I have one and carry it with me every day.

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      What a great idea! I am now going to find a marble and carry it with me always as a symbol of my sanity. Or at least, as a symbol of my goal to cling to those final remnants, fleeting though they may be. Thank GOD for children, indeed. I know for a fact that mine have seriously saved my life in more ways than one.

      And speaking of symbols: My father used to carry an eraser in his pocket. He would tell people, “That’s for when my number comes up — so I can erase it!” πŸ˜‰

      Thank you for the feedback, Nicole. It’s wonderful to see you around these parts!

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