The Brick(ginning)

Some people like to begin at the beginning. Silly, linear thinkers that they may be …

While this blog is not necessarily linear or chronological, my first post, How My Marriage Ended with a Brick, does provide much of the theoretical and philosophical underpinnings for the rest of the posts.

Damn…that sounds so…IMPRESSIVE. Actually, the first post simply proves that the truth is stranger than fiction. That you seriously can’t MAKE this shit up. And that my life is just too fuckin’ bizarre and is guaranteed to be a Lifetime Made-for-TV movie starring Melissa Gilbert. Or Meredith Baxter-Birney. Or both. With a guest cameo by — you guessed it — Marilyn Manson.

Anyhow, click the link above, click the pic below … just click, read, and scroll your way up to make it through my crazy past in some semblance of linear fashion.

Crazy, type-A person that you are…



This is a brick. My marriage ended with a brick. Click the brick pic to see how this fun story begins…




27 thoughts on “The Brick(ginning)

  1. Heather Graham says:

    Divorce gets better; but trust me, you’ll still have plenty of material… the teen years are yet to come. Keep blogging; it reminds us we are all on the same ride….

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Oh, I can only IMAGINE how crazy those teen years will be … a smarter-than-anything diva daughter, an equally smarty pants and handsome son, and an uncooperative ex and his seemingly vengeful wife. Sounds simply awesome.


      Thanks for reading and sharing, Heather!

  2. Phil says:

    Hey blog sister. I was wondering if you were going to use that brick as a tombstone for ‘Johny Dumb Ass’s. Enjoyed your piece.. We are both ex connection writers. (You are on top of mine) Keep reaching out to those hurt souls lady. We all need connection. Come visit me sometime.@

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      I’m on top, huh Phil? Just how I like it! 😉

      I kid, of course…

      I’m looking forward to reading your posts — congrats on making the EXConnection. I’m excited for the opportunity!

  3. Phil says:

    You have way too much sass for your own good. I tried to view your articles to but they are in some kind of freak format that would probably infect me with a virus. Can you assure me that I don’t need any protection when I open them? I mean, you are sexy and all but I don’t think you love me that much.

  4. Phil says:

    Wow. I wouldn’t have thought of you as a girl scout. But I bet you have great cookie files. Okay, little girl. It’s going to be fun to browse through your articles.
    Hey. We should have an article face off on ex connect some time. See who gets the most likes for their piece kinda thing. Have you ever done it like that girl scout?

  5. abelovedone says:

    I thought you would appreciate this small story. Last night while volunteering with our church’s middle school youth group (why yes, I am crazy thanks, for asking), I watched them all play capture the flag. I realized about halfway through the game that the “flags” were actually pastel covered bandanas wrapped around… bricks. You immediately came to mind, along with the phrase, “You can’t make this shit up.” Let me know the meaning that you find from this scenario (Were all the 6th graders who were able to carry the brick to the other side future survivors of cheating spouses? And what’s with the pastel?). Just know that I let our a laugh on your behalf. I’ve definitely enjoyed the humor that you’ve found even in the worst of situations- keep writing!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Oh my God (appropriate, right?) that is priceless!

      Here’s my take:

      The pastel color is in contrast to the overbearing nature of the contents. I mean a brick (could the substance be any harder/more concrete/damaging) shrouded in soft hues? It’s like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, if I’m not mixing metaphors too much…
      Your sixth graders are being prepared (subconsciously) to recognize that even the most startling of events can come wrapped in a subtle message. If you think about it, isn’t religion just that — a strong message that is carried out through gentle teachings. At least most of the time…

      I laughed out loud at your story, however. Perhaps if I had participated in such an activity during my own Vacation Bible School as a child, I would have been prepared for the image on the screen that fateful day in December, 2007.



  6. cgmcalister says:

    In spite of a divorce, you haven’t lost your sense of humour. The brick story made me laugh out loud. Your write very well and I hope a book of your blogs materialises soon. I look foward to reading future posts.

  7. ~ Sil in Corea says:

    I’ve found you at last! I went through a divorce over 30 years ago that was more painful than the death of my second husband. (I mean, you can’t blame a body for dying when it doesn’t work any more, but you sure as hell can blame a guy for running off with another woman, right?) Yeah, I was crazy for quite a while after he skipped. Thanks to my 14-year-old daughter, I gained enough insight to file for divorce. I’m sure glad someone was thinking logically then!

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      It is, by far and away, one of the most painful personal tragedies — and yet its one that plays out in half the homes in the nation! We definitely need to talk about it, help others through it, reflect about lessons, etc…and I don’t think society generally allows for or encourages that kind of healing. So this is just one of my small steps toward trying to change the world, one little divorce chat at a time… 😉

      I’m so glad you found me, too! Welcome to the conversation, and I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve endured. Trust me, I know how awful it feels, and I’m so glad you had someone to help you through!

  8. Klaus Steinke says:

    All I was doing today was visiting the WordPress site to learn more about blogging, and here I find myself writing to a complete stranger about bricks!!

    Seems that a rather famous 20th century architect named Louis Kahn got part of his fame from his most famous question – “I asked a brick what it wanted to be”. Kahn didn’t want to know if the brick wanted to grow up to be a marble slab: this was trying to determine the nature of the material and how it could best be used. And Kahn used a lot of bricks in his designs, and did a pretty good job of it as well.

    But there is another tie in with your brick and Kahn’s bricks. Poor Louis had families with three women in his life, only one of which he bothered to marry. So perhaps there is some connection between bricks and wandering pricks that is somewhat metaphysical, and creates a desire to heave them through windows.

    And if there is a karma justice system, perhaps Louis got a bit of his due. He died of a heart attack in a men’s room in a railroad station. He wasn’t identified for three days because he had erased his home address off his passport (had just returned from overseas).

  9. scott says:

    Nice Blog. I feel your pain with the whole divorce situation. Relationships are difficult, however, they are worth seeking out. Keep the faith, the best years of your life are out in front of you………

    • Mikalee Byerman says:

      Thank you for visiting, Scott! You’re absolutely right about relationships — and I know, in hindsight, I’m far better off now than I was then. It’s been a rough road, but at least I took the high one!

      Again, thanks for stopping by, and I hope to see you around here again.

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